Don Imus, meet the Cosmic Taskmaster

After being called out for his racist, misogynistic rant last week, Don Imus was fired from both his daily simulcast on MSNBC and his radio show on CBS. Saturn is currently squaring his natal Saturn. Let's take it straight from astrology god Robert Hand. This is his description of Don's current transit:

Most often this influence is experienced as a sort of identity crisis in which you begin to question what you are doing. You may suffer a crisis of confidence at this time, fearing that you have made the wrong moves in life or committed yourself to some course of action that will not be good in the long run. During this period you will think about and question all the long-term trends in your life. You will not be thinking about trivial matters.

Sometimes a particular event triggers off this period of soul-searching. Others may create difficulties for you, especially in your business or professional area. Perhaps they detect the first signs of insecurity that will afflict you during this period. If they are people who naturally compete with you, they may try to take advantage of your apparent weakness. Employers and other superiors may also sense your feelings of insecurity and wonder whether you are the right person for the job you are doing.


One thing for is for sure, Mr. Imus better heed Saturn's lesson or he'll never see work again. A lot of commentator's are suggesting that he wasn't quite contrite enough, and obviously the cosmos are in complete agreement. Saturn is not one to be trifled with. Let's hope he goes after Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck and their ilk next. Fair is fair.

The Real Rudy

Most New Yorkers recall with angst the mayor we grew to hate in the 1990's. He seethed and lisped his way through town, shutting down museum exhibitions, defending corrupt police officers, and ruining our fair city with his "clean up" of Times Square. Before the world watched him do what anyone in his position would have done on 9.11, he was generally thought of as an evil skeezeball. But those images made him famous, and he became "America's Mayor". Truth be told, he didn't do anything out of the ordinary. The real heroes remain those firefighters, police officers, and ordinary citizens that acted with compassion and humanity on that awful day. Amazing what a TV camera can do for one's approval ratings.

Now power-hungry Rudy is enjoying his status as the front-runner for the GOP nomination in 2008. There are several reasons for this. First off, it's a shameful assortment of candidates, and some form of cream, no matter how rancid, has to rise to the top. (And pander to the right wing, apparently. Even though he supports gay marriage, is divorced, pro-choice, and has notably dressed up in drag, Rudy has somehow become the sweetheart of the Republican party.) Pluto is currently giving him quite a powerful boost, but come June, Saturn will swoop in and Rudy's karma will catch up with him. A series of ego-squashing transits are likely to bring him to his knees. Come September, he'll probably be out of the race.

Oh, Saturn, how we praise you for these small favors. Hopefully by then Aries superstar Al Gore will have announced. More on him in a few weeks.

Big Daddy vs. L'il Kim Jong Il

All is unwell on the Korean peninsula, thanks, in part, to the Cosmic Taskmaster. Kim Jong Il isn't just suffering from a Napolean Complex: Saturn is squaring his natal Saturn in Taurus, causing his nuclear hissy fit last week. Watch for more explosive outbursts from the North as Saturn opposes Il's sun in late November and early December. We may want to hide under our desks. Saturn is giving us a lot to chew on.

Those of us born in 1970 and 1971 are feeling L'il Kim's pain -- Saturn has been squaring our natal Saturns as well. Thought you wrapped it up when you reached your thirtieth birthday five years ago? This most recent hurdle is merely Saturn whispering in your ear: "Keep up the good work, dear." If things feel heavy, take a deep breath -- this too will pass.

Big Daddy Direct

After being retrograde all winter, Saturn now asks us to spring-forward with our wordly objectives. There is no time like the present. Honor every precious moment by spending it on things that you value -- this is the greatest homage you can pay to His Greatness. Saturn's current transit through Leo reminds us to live and create from our heart-center like we did so effortlessly as kids in our own private la-la land --and to love our crazy neurotic selves with unconditional fervor.

Comeuppance

Saturn is not forgiving to folks that try to sidestep his lessons. White House puppetmaster Karl Rove has been living under the Cosmic Taskmaster's big black boot for the last two years. With several planets in Cancer and Capricorn, he's been in quite the crucible. Despite installing Bush for a second term, Saturn watchers have expected that the chickens would eventually come home to roost. Big Daddy Saturn frowns on misplaced arrogance.

It's fitting that a leak might be his undoing: the water metaphor is completely apt for Saturn's transit through Cancer, sign of the sea. As Saturn transits the last few degrees of the sign, we all revisit the issues of the last two and half years, and hopefully purge ourselves once and for all. For Rove, this could spell an ending. Saturn in Leo is often a time of fallen leaders. In these hyper-Orwellian times, let's just pray that he doesn't wag any dogs to distract us.

Playing Rummy

Donald Rumsfeld has been effectively dodging Saturn's bullets for the last few months, but his free ride seems to be close to its end. Big Daddy Saturn is now calling Rummy to task. The buildup to his potential downfall begins around May 10th, when Saturn moves toward his sun in Cancer. The assault is exact in mid-July. Maybe he should just stick to poetry.

Dangerous Love

Double Cancer Courtney Love is in the news again as the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death approaches and new conspiracy theories abound. With Saturn sidling up to her sun between now and July, any karmic crimes and misdemeanors in Love's present and past are subject for the world's scrutiny. Innocent until Saturn proves guilty? One thing is for certain, Courtney will be asked to clean up her act or her physical vitality (sun) will suffer under Saturn's grip.

Martha, Martha, Martha.

Martha, Martha, Martha.

You've been made the posterwoman for a generation of evil corporate despots, even though your indiscretion was minor compared to the Ken Lays and Jeffrey Skillings of the world. Some might call it backlash, but we call it Saturn.

Saturn goes direct on March 6th, making its forward march to the top of Martha's chart and crossing over many of her personal planets in the next few years. In the next few months, however, Saturn attacks Martha's Mars, calling her ambitions into question and putting her at odds with just about everyone. Consider her jury a lackey of Saturn.

I just wonder how she'll renovate her cell.