Things to be Thankful For

If our dear readers will allow a holiday indulgence in the spirit of the feast, we'll admit a humdinger of a crush on Sam Talbot, current Top Chef contestant and former Lower East Side pushcart vendor. This Saturn-ruled specimen is a self-styled socialist, with a blog to match. How totally swoon-worthy. Socially-conscious hotness meets passionate man that cooks. For a LIVING. Had I known they made men this way anymore, I would have wasted less time.

Sam's 29th birthday is just a month or so away, and it appears as if he'll spend his Saturn Return in the spotlight. Will he win the title of Top Chef? I predict yes, but with his Saturn at 0 degrees of Virgo, the next two years should prove full of challenges around staying spiritually connected in the midst of overscheduling. He'll need to find time for himself. (I hope that doesn't interfere with cooking breakfast in bed for me.) For all you kids born between November of 1977 and September of 1980, you're up next for a Saturnian sojourn.

And while we're on the subject of things to be thankful for, the Democratic sweep of Congress takes the cake and the Tofurkey, too.

PS --

In the department of karmic coincidences, let it be noted that Sam and I were interviewed by Gothamist merely a year apart. Is this a match made in heaven, or what?

Katie, Scientology and Saturn

So those crazy kids went off and got hitched this past weekend in a remote Italian village. Despite her Georgio Armani-designed gown, Katie Holmes looked like a deer caught in headlights in all of the paparazzi images taken before and after the Scientology ceremony. Her Sagittarian optimism is no match for the strangeness to come. As Saturn conjoined her moon and crossed her Leo ascendant over the past few months, Kiss Me Too Long Katie has gone through a major restructuring of her self-image. Ms. Dawson's Creek has no idea who she is anymore. Honeymoons in the Maldives are nice, but can't undo the fact that you've just married a gay alien two inches shorter than you. And putting a toupee on your baby ain't gonna cover up the fact that the world knows you didn't actually sleep with the "man" you now call your "husband".

Katie's Saturn Return officially begins next summer. Let's hope her people planned well for her, because the lawyers should be popping the cherrry on the pre-nup by late 2007. Saturn loves you, Katie, and if you heed the Cosmic Taskmaster well during your Saturn Return, karma won't come around to kick you again in thirty years. We've got our fingers crossed that you'll get out alive.

Transformation in Tulum: A Saturn Return Retreat

Come to the Mexican Riviera and get a grip on turning thirty. Women between the ages of 27 and 31 are invited to join the Saturn Sisters on a magical, healing retreat on the Caribbean Sea. The authors of Surviving Saturn’s Return: Overcoming the Most Tumultuous Time of Your Life will take you on a life-altering journey through the heart of your Saturn Return. This is the first and only retreat made-to-order for the quarter-life crisis.

All the details are here.

Saturn has Spoken

Rumsfeld Resigns

Nancy Rocks the House

The people have spoken and our democracy is intact, Mercury-retrograde recounts not withstanding. Aries-firebrand Nancy Pelosi is the new Speaker of the House, the first woman to hold this eminent position. Here at Saturn HQ, we salute Speaker Pelosi and look forward to her tenure.

That said, she won't necessarily have an easy time of it. With many of her planets in Taurus and Scorpio, Saturn will continue to challenge her over the coming year. Although Republicans are contrite and just about everyone is promising bi-partisanship, it looks like Nancy and her democratic troops shouldn't uncork the champagne until late in the summer of 2007. Even though all seems festive right now, we have miles to go before the real party starts.

Run, Rummy, Run

Talk about survival skills. Cancer-native Donald Rumsfeld has managed to keep his job even after repeated calls for him to step down. He's right at home with fellow Cancer Bush and King Capricorn Rove -- they all rotate on the same axis of power. As we've mentioned, Saturn in Leo portends the fall of leaders. Today, in a joint-editorial in the Army Times, Air Force Times, Navy Times and Marine Corps Times, his very own people have called for his resignation.

Will he ever pack it in? Saturn opposed his natal Saturn in Aquarius over the past year, weakening his heretofore unrelenting grip on power. This month, as the full moon in Taurus and swarms of planets in Scorpio face off in the midterm elections, Rummy meets one of the biggest challenges of his tenure at the Pentagon thus far. With Jupiter, planet of irrational exuberance, touching off his Saturn, the Decider says he'll keep Rummy on his team no matter what. But if the retrograde doesn't mangle the democratic sweep of the House (and maybe the Senate) we'll see how long he holds on. Saturn, planet of karma, only allows you to overreach once. Rummy ran out of free passes years ago.